It’s 3:54AM and it is completely still in my house right now. Even my newborn is sleeping. The only thing that isn’t still is my mind. For some reason I can’t find the “off” button. I have so many thoughts running around in my head that I can barely sleep. I guess I’ll just grab one at a time and write them down until I eventually find a place for each of them.
Strangely enough, right now I have to rebuke the spirit of fear from my mind. I recently wrote a song that God placed on my heart titled, “I’m a Mother.” It’s a beautiful song that shares how God views motherhood through his eyes. I finally posted it on my website this week and listed it on digstation for sale, but I’ve had to wade through this strange level of fear with each step. I can’t even pinpoint exactly what is scaring me. I guess the fear of failure.
“Dear Lord, you gave me this song to touch the heart of mothers who hear it. Lord, I am humbled that you chose me as your vessel to deposit such an incredible song of encouragement for mothers who may not see how valuable they are. I ask for you to remove this spirit of fear from me and to do the work through this song as you intended. God, I continuely ask for more of you & less of me. Any place in my mind or my life that isn’t a reflection of you, please remove it from me. Lord, I really need you right now to give me peace and to help me see myself through your lenses. God, I pray for every mother right now. I pray for their strength. I also pray for their patience and sanity. I pray that they see how valuable they are in your eyes. I pray that they don’t compare themselves to the world’s unrealistic image of a mother who has the perfect figure, perfectly behaved children, perfectly clean house, perfect husband….and feel less than. I love you God. I feel the fear leaving right now! Amen.”